Frequently Asked Questions (For those of who didn’t know what “FAQ” meant.) 

Why don’t you use any first names in your blog?  Are you in the witness protection program?

I figured it was easier for the first-time visitor to the site who wouldn’t know whether Jason was the name of my spouse, my kid or one of the family cats, so I’ve been using “husband,” “baby,” etc.  Jason is the name of my husband, and my daughter’s name is Lily.  The cats are named “Riley,” a/k/a “Mean Kitty,” and “Monty.”  But, yes, I am in the witness protection program as well. 

Are you really the World’s Greatest Mother?

Yes.  I’ve held the title since March 2005.  The votes have been counted, and verified by an independent source. 

Can I call you?  What is your telephone number?

Please don’t call me.  My telephone only seems to ring when I’m feeding or changing my daughter, napping, or in the bathroom.  Never when I’m just sitting around waiting for the telephone to ring.  However, please feel free to send me an email.  I’d be happy to respond next week. 

What’s your political party affiliation?

I’m swinging from trees in the far left corner of Liberal-Land.  That being said, I believe that besides the handful of issues that seem to polarize the population, people are pretty similar in the things they want for themselves and their families.  Conservatives are always welcome on my site.  They just can’t post comments.  (I’m just kidding—you can post a comment if you want.  As long as it’s nice.  And you say that I’m funny.  Otherwise, no.) 

What is your greatest achievement?

That’s an easy one:  My daughter. 

Where did you go to school?  What was your major?

I attended the University of Wisconsin-Madison for what seemed like a decade.  I switched majors many times.  Highlights include:  cultural anthropology, East Asian studies, flute performance, geology, design, and back to cultural anthropology.  Didn’t graduate; however, I believe I deserve an honorary degree of some sort.  Forty-one thousand drunks get their undergraduate degree at UW-Madison every year; I don’t know why I couldn’t swing it.  

What did you do before becoming a SAHM (stay‑at‑home mom)?

I was a legal secretary for five years.  And then I quit last year to become a family home childcare provider.  Both jobs were pretty much the same—babysitting.  Note to all you youngsters out there:  Stay in school! 

What can I get you for Christmas?

Do you really need a holiday to buy me a present?  Get me something from my wish list anytime at Amazon.com!