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2006/1/19 Fun at FourFour A.M., that is.
Now you're probably thinking that this is a rant from a new mom about how frequently she has to get up each night to feed the baby. Wrong-o. It's a rant from a new mom about the LOUD activities my cats participate in during the wee hours of the morning.
Now my cats are regularly slugs. (In fact, I poke the big one every once in awhile to make sure he's still alive.) They are usually sleeping in the furry divots they have created on the furniture. Except at 4:00 a.m. I'm not kidding--it's like clockwork.
Some of the fun 4:00 a.m. activities for kitties:
As I write this, my cats are cuddled up, as innocent as can be. But I know that they are just saving up their energy to torment me in the night. Furry little bastards. 2005/12/8 Hey, Roxanne!Here's a shout out to my sister, who's pissed that I haven't updated my Web site "in a really long time."
HI, ROXANNE! 2005/8/9 I can hear you.Yes, you. That is, if you are the family in my neighborhood with the new baby. By the way, thanks for buying the same baby monitor; we can hear you loud and clear. "Channel 2" has become our favorite entertainment lately.
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So, this Saturday, my husband was "on call" for childcare duties while I was "on break." Baby was napping peacefully in her crib. My husband, fixing the family truckster in the garage, had a baby monitor receiver with him to hear when she woke up. Then, the garage door to the house opened, my husband quickly came up the stairs, got the baby and went back into the garage. He's done stranger things, so I really didn't pay much attention. Then he came back into the house, carrying our baby, with a confused look on his face and asked if Monty the cat was making a lot of noise. I said "no." Then he said, "Come here and listen to this." We proceeded to the garage, and sure as shit, there was a baby crying on the monitor. Not our baby, of course, but a baby somewhere in our neighborhood.
We had a little chuckle, and then continued to listen to the monitor for the next several minutes. I felt like a spy.
Then we both realized that if we can hear them, they can hear us. Now we're worried about what we said, did, fought about--all while having the monitor on. Please, God, tell me we didn't have the monitor on when we were fighting about how much formula to feed our child. That could have been one full hour of laughs for someone listening in. In our defense, we were both very tired. And baby formula is a very hot topic in our household. 2005/7/10 Perv*rts bewareThere have been a number of visitors to my site that have gotten here through searches for "pictures of adults wearing diapers," "changing adult dirty diapers pictures," and the like. Folks, I am able to view your search criteria. Please be aware of this before doing another perverted search and then visiting my site.
If this were an isolated incident, I would probably just laugh it off and forget about it. But this happens like twice a week. And I'm starting to feel a little violated.
P.S. Hey, MSN. I'm getting tired of the censorship. I can't use the word "pervert" in a title? 2005/7/6 "Wrinkle Free," my *ssMy husband started a new job today. One in which he actually has to dress like a grown up. No more shorts and t-shirts! So this weekend we took a field trip to Kohl's Department Store to acquire work clothes that do not have to be ironed. [Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom but that doesn't mean I have an extra hour each week to iron clothes.] We purchased an entire wardrobe of "wrinkle free" garments!
If you can get past the icky-feeling fabric, the clothes actually looked quite nice. Until I washed them. Damn! Wrinkles!
On a positive note, I did move a small television downstairs to watch TV while I iron. (It's the first time I've watched TV in weeks!)
P.S. I hate MSN for censoring my title. You can't put the word "ass" in a title? But you can put it in the text? Ass! Ass! Ass! Take that, MSN! 2005/7/3 Fireworks and my mom's MacGreetings from Oshkosh, Wisconsin! We are here visiting the fam this holiday weekend. My sister just set off some legal fireworks: sparklers, fountains, and other tame things. They were really boring compared to the illegal explosives the people have two doors down. Also, someone one block over apparently has a cannon. I hope to have my hearing back tomorrow. Guess what?! I'm using my mom's Mac. The "delete" key is really a backspace. Crazy! This thing looks more like a toaster than a computer. Hey, kid. Get a job.Summer is here! And you know what that means: kids wandering around aimlessly, shooting firecrackers, skateboarding in the street, and driving the neighbor lady crazy. The neighbor lady being me.
These school-free youngsters are now also blogging on MSN spaces. Am I the oldest "blogger" on MSN? It seems like every time I follow a link on the newly updated spaces, I wind up on some 14-year-old's site talking about how much they love their girlfriend/boyfriend. See, they've got too much free time during the summer!
Why don't these kids have jobs? We need to keep them busy, because they are making my life a living hell. On Monday night, I was in bed at 10 p.m. Done with housework. Baby asleep. PJs on. In bed. And then it started: firecrackers. The little punk next door decided that he would start celebrating for the Fourth of July early. Isn't there a curfew or something? What are the parents doing? This kid surely could be working the late shift at the McDonald's drive thru making a few extra dollars for a new skateboard or whatever kids buy these days. (Hopefully not more fireworks.)
If you've got kids. Get them some jobs.
Thank you,
The Neighbor Lady
P.S. Laura 'n Jason 4ever! 2005/6/28 Please pass the LorazepamTomorrow we are having a going away celebration for my husband as he leaves his job at the University. About 20 to 30 people are expected, and they will all be here—in my house! I’ve been trying to get food prepared and the house cleaned while toting my three-month old in a sling. At this point I can’t think clearly enough to figure out what task to do next. I’m kicking myself now for not getting the prescription for Lorazepam that my doctor offered last week. On the plus side, I’ve never seen our refrigerator so full of food and beer! I’ll probably be up until the wee hours from not being able to sleep, but at least I’ll have quite a selection of midnight snacks from which to choose! It won’t be as good as the drug-induced fog I would be in with the Lorazepam, but food is always a close second! 2005/6/25 Everybody's got a twinWow! I was surfing the Internet this morning when I came across of a picture of a baby that looks remarkably like my daughter. It’s uncanny. My husband couldn’t believe it either. Here’s proof that there is always someone somewhere that looks exactly like you. 2005/6/15 New car for me? Nope.I’m feeding my baby girl this afternoon when the doorbell rings. I place baby in crib and rush downstairs—it’s someone from the local car dealership with keys in hand! There is a brand new Toyota Matrix sitting in my driveway! The exchange went something like this:
It just isn’t right for a car dealer to come to your door with a brand new Toyota Matrix, only so you can deliver the keys to your oh-so-popular next door neighbor. If I were a car dealer, I wouldn’t do that. It’s mean. I hope the neighbor enjoys her brand new Toyota Matrix. [Whimper] Flowers for me? You Bet!Thanks to my husband and Dad & Jill for all the flowers! Two bouquets of flowers in two days! I don’t know what’s more exciting: getting flowers or knowing that my family is reading my blog!! My neighbor is not the only popular person on the block now! Me: 2 Neighbor: 1 Hmmm… this gives me an idea… 2005/6/9 I feel famous!I wasn't the blogger who had her "in stitches," but she needed to go through my "enjoyable" site to get to that one!
Quote Frankly My Dear, I dont give a blog! 2005/6/7 Flowers for me? Nope.I’m feeding my baby girl this afternoon when the doorbell rings. I place baby in crib and rush downstairs—it’s someone from the local florist with roses in hand! The exchange went something like this:
It just isn’t right for florists to come to your door with flowers, only so you can deliver them to your oh-so-popular next door neighbor. If I were a florist, I wouldn’t do that. It’s mean. I hope the neighbor enjoys her flowers. [Whimper] |
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